Wrapping Up Time
In the past week, I've started four different posts, all of which are wrong, wrong, wrong.
After some flailing and, I admit, a bit of self judgement and doubt (why would anyone ever care about anything I have to say?), I realize that I'm suffering from a crisis of timing. See, it's a time for endings and not a time for new things. And I have several things dragging that I need to wrap up right now before I can resume forward momentum.
My family is just emerging from a long (4.5 years long actually) period of stress. The event that started this situation happened during a Mercury retrograde, so I knew that it would also end during one. For the past couple of years I've been hoping that each retrograde period would be the one. Finally, the situation resolved itself last week. The practical result is that the entire household promptly got bad colds. At the same time, we've been feeling a strong urge to kick off new projects and plans. However, the timing is not quite right.
I believe in astrology in a archetypal sort of way. As in, it's a useful tool for helping navigate the various eddies and currents, a place to look for patterns and synchronicity, but not to be taken literally. I routinely follow several different astrology blogs:
- Rob Brezsny's Freewill Astrology
- Austin Coppock (I also recommend his annual almanac)
- Gary Glynn's Astroblogic
|Most "releasing" imagery on google has either doves or butterflies... |
yeah, the stuff I'll be releasing isn't quite so sweetness and light.
|I'd like to do this as an ironic needlepoint|
Hence the festival of colds. For me, illness usually acts as a message. I'm working too hard. Or I need to take time to reevaluate something. Or I need to slow down and not get ahead of myself. The worst sick I ever was (the kind of sick where you're not going to die -- but you wish you would) was a message that my job at the time was a terrible toxic place. The fact that the week I was completely out of commission was a critical week at work, well, when you ignore the subtle whispers of the universe the universe will start to bang on you with the astral clue-by-four.
This cold is all about off-loading the stress and anxiety from the past years before moving on to new things. I can almost feel the stress seeping out of my pores (and dripping out of my nose, to be honest with you). So all my struggles to do new things are just going to have to wait. My energy now has to focus on unraveling some current enchantments and release the associated energy in an appropriate way -- some back to me, but others to be dissolved or reabsorbed where they can't harm anyone. Oddly, I'm also being asked to deal with some VERY old stress (like 25 year old stress) as well. I can only hope that this purging of crap will result in a clean slate.
The way I see it, every household has some kind of 'tell'. A marker of the health of the household. You'd think that for us this would be food, but it's not. In fact, there are times when things are going well that our diet suffers (usually when we're having too much fun to eat right) and times when things are going badly that we really eat quite well. No, our bellweather, our canary in the coal mine is... the laundry.
Yes, you can tell how well our lives are functioning by taking one glance into the garage laundry room. Which was doing pretty good until about a week ago when the final stress hit. Now I'm in triage mode (which of these 26 loads is dirtiest, most needed, taking up the most room out here). Once again the message is clear. You have to take care of the old before you can move on to the new.