In my year-end post, I mentioned being at a crossroads in my life. That’s poetic, but it’s more accurate to say that I’m nearing a freeway interchange in my life. A crossroads implies that I’m standing still at a point where I need to make a decision to go one way or another.
In fact, it’s more like I’m hurtling rapidly towards a place where a lot of different possibilities are tangled up and I’m can’t quite read the signs yet and I’m not sure where all these off and on ramps and fly overs might take me. I’m not sure where any of the roads go and even when I have an idea, I’m not sure where I want to end up going.
One thing I’m pretty sure of is that I’m not going to have the luxury of pulling over for very long. Traffic keeps moving and if I don’t figure some stuff out, I’ll get swept into whatever lane, maybe take the wrong exit, and end up someplace I don’t want to be.
Fortunately, I’ve been here before and I have some tools to help me figure things out.
First, I need to slow down where ever I can. Just because I can’t stop doesn’t mean I should speed. I’ve been taking what time I have to contemplate scenarios (check the map) and evaluate changes as they happen (watch for traffic). We are in a society that rewards rushing, jumping in, and rash action above all. However, when you get the sense that your upcoming choices are important, you need to slow down.
Second, I need to look ahead. Look where you want to go also works in reverse. You tend to go where you look. So staring at the dead end or the giant truck right dead ahead of you will make you more likely to turn right into them. Instead, I’ve been trying to look at the things I do want and put my focus there. To look up at the road out ahead of me, so I don’t miss options and opportunities. Divination is one way to do this, but so too is just paying attention to the bigger picture.
Third, I need to avoid distractions. I’m not on a back country road with few turns, I can’t be eating a sandwich, fixing my hair, looking for something that slipped under the seat, or – God forbid – texting. I need to (as the song says) keep my eyes on the road and my hands upon the wheel. Today I was doing some analysis and just thinking about where my attention should be going for the largest effect.
Fourth, it also doesn’t help to just close my eyes. I’m in a fast moving car, I can’t fall asleep! Yet in these kinds of situations there’s a strong urge to just not think about it. To avoid admitting you don’t know the road ahead because the spaghetti bowl of options hasn’t reached you yet. Bad idea! You have more time now to evaluate and make choices than when the lane you’re in is suddenly exiting or the exit you need is five lanes away.
Fifth, I need to keep reminding myself that I might feel a little confused, but eventually I’ll get to where I need to go. My husband and I have this joke that you aren’t lost unless you need to be somewhere at a certain time. If you don’t know where you need to go and you don’t know how to get there, then how can you be on the wrong road? Sure, you may prefer to go left to the mountains or right toward the ocean, but destinations that large (happiness, security, adventure, connection) are hard to miss. This means level up your decision-making and don’t get bogged down by the details until you need to be.
I think a lot of us are feeling like we’re hurtling toward an uncertain future — and that the future is coming faster than any of us would like. One final piece of advice is to just enjoy the journey, however bumpy or crazy it gets. Because the journey is what we’re here to do. It’s why we’re incarnate rather than just spirits. We came here, now, for a reason. And whether that reason is large or small, global or personal, it’s just still what we chose.
