But it has such a nice ring to it: New Year, New You!
Except you woke up on January 1st and, surprise, you’re the still same old you. Of course, who else would you be? And maybe January first did feel like a whole new start. But here, a few days in, you might be feeling the pull of the same old you that you hoped to leave behind at the year boundary.
In fact, people can change their lives and even themselves. But it’s not something that happens in a moment with the calendar. It’s something that evolves slowly. This is why “become a nonsmoker” is a better goal than “stop smoking.” You are becoming someone new, not jumping immediately to a new state in a moment (insert quantum leap joke here).
Embracing the process of change is as important for change as the end state. The process of changing. The work you do to change. The struggles and setbacks and successes… that’s what the change IS. That’s where the new you evolves.
People hyper focus on January 1st when they should be focusing on January 1st – of next year. That is to say, we should focus on the end result that we want to arrive at, not the first step we’re about to take. Not that we avoid the first step. We still have to take it. But instead we look ahead at where we want to be, and we allow that vision to encourage us through all the many steps and stumbles we will take to get there.
If you’ve already slipped up on your resolutions, instead of giving up or beating yourself up, try this:
- Picture your end state – who are you at the end of this year? what is your life like? what destination have you reached?
- Acknowledge where you are now – be honest, focus on your own ground, and measure that gap
- Mind the gap – between the you who reaches the end state and the the you of today is a gap that you need to be aware of
- Identify next steps – not every step, just the next few. What action brings you closer to your end state?
- Take steps and keep taking steps – most of them should be forward, but some will be backward…
- Mess up – you will, we all do, so might as well plan for it
- Forgive yourself – give yourself the grace you likely give others
- Keep going – reorient, and keep taking steps
- Check in – make sure your end state hasn’t changed and that you are moving yourself in the correct direction
That’s it. That’s how you ‘new you’ — by you-ing in your very best direction until you become that new you. It doesn’t happen in an instant. It doesn’t happen with a single resolution. It happens every day and you can start and restart every day. You have the power to change into a new version of yourself, so hold that power and make each day the start of a new year and a the journey to a new you.
Quick note that my 2025 Circle Method Training course has just been launched. The first lesson will be on Honing your Vision (exactly the process clearly seeing this end state) and will go live January 15th. Go here to learn more and sign up to the Circle Planning package: https://www.circlethrice.com/project/membership/
